


Shipoopi

by Auntie Mem (NotYourMemily)



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, LET'S FIND OUT, how does one smooch a skeleton?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 07:27:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9062383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotYourMemily/pseuds/Auntie%20Mem





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Oshann](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oshann/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Sans went out on your third date today! Well, you _tried_ to, at least. Things didn't work out as planned, but if you play your cards right, that could turn out to be a blessing in disguise. This is gonna be a fluffy one, so hold onto your butts!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first part of my smut for dear, sweet Oshann, who did such an amazing job on [her half of our fic trade!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8736562/chapters/20029363) I pledged to finally post tonight, and that's exactly what I did! You see, Oshann, it's still tonight where I am. Even if it's tomorrow morning for you, I still kept my promise!

This wasn't quite how you had expected your third date with him to go, but it certainly turned out alright in your book. The two of you had made plans to enjoy a free concert at the park today, but it hadn't been more than an hour before an inconvenient root snagged your foot. On your way down, you somehow managed to send your nice cream flying to splat against the back of Sans’ skull. That probably wouldn't have been so bad on its own, but Woshua spotted you and immediately stepped in to save him from the mess. The friendly little monster had meant well, but as your boyfriend put it, “getting doused with water tends to put a _damper_ on things.” Woshua sprayed him again just on principle.

Still, neither you nor Sans had wanted your time together to end so abruptly. Your apartment was the closer of the two, so . . . Here you were. Sans had joked about defying stereotypes when you offered him an old t-shirt and a pair of pj pants to wear while his clothes dried. You had done your best not to dwell on the faint silhouette of spine and ribs that was visible through the worn white tee.  That would be much easier if you hadn't caught a glimpse of his lower spine and- no, come on, you knew this.  It was his lumbar vertebrae and his iliac crests.

Wouldn't it be nice if the parts of him you found so unexpectedly enticing had correspondingly sexy names?  Or at least simpler ones.  Sans knew the names of your body parts, though, so you felt like it would be pretty insensitive of you not to at least <em>try</em> to learn the names of his.  It's not like you had been studying skeletons just to try to figure out where his erogenous zones would be. That would be weird.

You sat leaned back against, your boyfriend of nearly a month. It had taken a minute or two of fiddling with your pillow, but somehow you had managed to seat yourself comfortably with your back pressed against his ribs.

Sans toyed absentmindedly with a lock of your “hair”. He still wasn’t clear on how exactly it differed from fur, but wasn’t bothered enough to argue the point. It was pretty, and he liked it, so it didn’t much matter what it was called. The strands tickled as he wove them between his finger bones.

You reached one hand up to stroke the side of his jaw. He was cooler to the touch than human skin, but not cold. The voice of a documentary narrator drifted from the tv, raving about some tropical bird or another. You were full of pizza, and cuddled up under a blanket with your boyfriend. You were happy.

Sans gently grasped the hand caressing his cheekbone, and guided it to press against his teeth in imitation of a kiss. Then he tilted his face forward to bury himself in your hair. It smelled so nice. He inhaled deeply.

“thanks again for loaning me the PJs,” he murmured into your scalp, “i really _cottoned_ to ‘em.” You snorted at the pun.

“Well, I wasn’t about to leave you in those wet clothes. You could’ve-” you paused. “ _Could_ you have caught a cold?” Sans chuckled.

“nah. human illnesses aren’t transmissible to monsters. it wouldn’t have been much fun sitting around in wet clothes, though. and i doubt you’d be so eager to snuggle with me if i were cold and damp on top of being all hard and pokey.” He stuck one- _“distal phalanx”_ , you quickly reminded yourself, _plural "phalanges"_ \- into your cheek to drive the point home. You twisted your neck as you turned to look at him, one eyebrow raised.

“Is that what we’re doing?” you teased, trying not to think about how he said you seemed _"eager to snuggle" oh crap were you that obvious_?  Sans tried to imitate your expression, but it didn’t translate well on a face with no eyebrows.

“aren’t we?” He wrapped his arms around your waist, and rested his chin on your shoulder. His teeth brushed against your ear as he whispered, “does this not count as snuggling?” Before you could respond, he nipped gently at your earlobe, drawing a shivering breath from you.

“I dunno . . .” Sans chuckled.

“and what would it take to convince you?” You hesitated a moment, then plunged ahead before you could lose your nerve.

“Kiss me?” Sans’ omnipresent smile twitched, then softened.

“you sure? i don’t exactly got the same fleshy bits as you do. it might be weird” You huffed, and began to turn away, doing your best to hide the embarrassment on your face.

“Well, if you don’t want to-”

“no!” Sans gently turned your face back towards him. “i do, just . . . makin’ sure you’re sure.” He rubbed his free hand absentmindedly up and down along your side. You nodded, keeping your eyes on the lights of his sockets. You leaned in, and . . . huh.

It’s true, he didn’t have lips in the same way you did, but he did have . . . something? Whatever it was, it was definitely unfamiliar. It didn't feel at all like teeth.  In fact, the movement whatever part of his mouth was a little unnerving. It was almost like firm jello, or- you jerked your head back and shouted:

“TOFU!!” Sans stared back at you in alarm. His mouth was blue. And then it wasn’t, but his cheekbones- _"zygomatic bones" you thought absently_  - were. You paused to squint at him curiously. The blue on his face spread.

“Are you, um. Okay?” You asked nervously.

_oh shit oh shit i messed up oh shitfuck_

“i’m fine,” Sans lied.

“. . . Your mouth was squishy. And blue.” You paused. “Is it meant to do that?” Sans shrugged, glancing away.

“i thought it would be easier for you to kiss me if it felt more like what you were used to.” You snorted, and immediately felt guilty when he looked down at his lap. You shifted on your seat and turned your whole body to face him, taking hold of his hands.

“Sans. Look at me.” After a moment he obliged, albeit a bit reluctantly. “I want to kiss you, Sans. Not an approximation of what you think a human kiss is like.” Sans took a thoughtful moment to respond.

“what’s tofu?” You chuckled, caught a bit off-guard by the question.

“Oh, that. It’s, uh, this soft food made out of ground-up soybeans. Known for its softness.”

“man, I was going for marshmallow,” he chuckled. You weren’t entirely sure if he was joking.

_stars, I really hope she thinks i was joking._

Rather than responding, you launched yourself forward and pressed your lips against his bare teeth with a little more force than was really necessary. It was weird, yeah. But better somehow. You didn’t exactly have much to work with, so you just focused on making it clear how much you wanted this to work out, one way or another.

Sans really wasn’t sure how to respond at this point, though he certainly enjoyed the sensation of your soft lips as they left his teeth to lay scattered smooches along his cheekbone. He’d never had a good opportunity to practice kissing before now. No one with lips had ever given him a chance. Anyone fleshy enough to have them had taken one look at him and realized holding him would be practically like holding a lumpy sack full of pointy sticks. Nothing against lizards or gryphons, but there was only so much experience from past relationships that could do him any good here.

As you tentatively licked the space on his skull where his ear would be-

 _“external acoustic meatus”_ , you thought to yourself-

Sans was reminded of something he had learned during his time with one of his softer partners. _now_ this _i know how to do,_ he thought smugly.

By this point you were beginning to wonder whether you were just embarrassing yourself with this poorly-planned attempt at a make out session. Then suddenly you felt something warm and firm and wet probing the crook of your neck. You shuddered from a mixture of pleasure and surprise, turning your eyes back to see an uncommonly self-satisfied expression on your boyfriend’s face. While you weren’t paying attention, Sans had manifested a tongue of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "But Auntie Mem, isn't it past midnight in your timezone?" asked a quibbling member of the peanut gallery.  
> "The sun has yet to rise, little one, so shut your mouth." I replied sagely.


End file.
